Being a mother is difficult. The most demanding job. When my hip began pain, it took me quite a while to manage it. In the course of six months, I experienced increasing pain, and when my mobility suffered I finally scheduled an appointment to see the physical therapy therapist who helped me deal with sciatica while I was pregnant. After a few visits, she informed me that she was quite certain that I suffered from an avulsion labral (a tears in the cartilage that surrounds the bone of the femur) within my hip. She gave me an Post-it listing the names of surgeons ‘ names and advised that I should keep her updated.
Visit to Raleigh Orthopedics, X-rays and an MRI confirmed my PTs suspicion. I suffered from a labral tear and they were confident about my age and general health will allow for a speedy recovery. I’ve learned since that doctors and me have different concepts regarding “quick,” but that’s an entirely different issue.
Surgery was scheduled for late afternoon of March 8 and could mean that at the very least, two weeks in crutches and a brace as well as plenty of rest time. If you’ve experienced having a small child (or three! ) is able to be aware of the guffaw which involuntarily came out of my mouth. After all was completed the process required 2.5 months before I was able remove one crutch. Then it took a week or so later before I was walking on my own with a little bit of difficulty but still independently.
In those extremely difficult months of chronic pain, alarms that remind me of various medications and the sport of “pass the coffee” or trying to figure out how to get my cup of coffee across the kitchen counter in the event that I needed hands to walk my mom’s village took over.
A good friend of mine and the great people who make up the HER Health Collective, arranged an eating plan that I could eat for three weeks after surgery. I did not have to worry about food for my family, and was able ease my husband’s burden, which doubled when I entered the surgery center.
I’d like to use this occasion to express “thank to you” to all those who stood by myself and the family through my recovery. It was a very difficult time for me, and not just because I could clearly feel the burden I was becoming. The mom-to-mom community can be a blessing in moments of joy and is life-saving rafts in rough seas.
As well as the numerous people (some who I’ve not even seen!) who donated meals to my family, I’d like to express my gratitude:
- To all who visited with sweets.
- Thanks for those care packages which turned up on our doorsteps or in the mailer with everything dark chocolate.
- to the Harris Teeter employee who offered to pick up the parchment at the end in the shop.
- Thank you to the lady to the woman who assisted me in loading my groceries into my car while I struggled with crutches as well as an empty cart.
- To the lovely people at the library storytime, who allowed me to rest at the table.
- to my neighbours who chased me and my one-year-old daughter when she tried to cross the street.
- For those who visited, provide some distraction and offer me coffee.
- Thank you to my physical therapy therapists, who continue to encourage me to recover and offer a sense of perspective, a smile and a snark whenever I require it.
- To my amazing family for helping with cooking/laundry/school pick up and drop off/childcare/diaper changes/driving me to doctor’s appointments and PT/and all the things.
- My wonderful husband for helping me clean up the mess in the home and assisting me with everything from climbing the stairs to wrapping my hips by Saran wrap.
I am still overwhelmed by everyone’s (strangers but strangers and not) compassion and kindness, which allowed me to concentrate on my recovery. There’s still work to be accomplished and my PT believes I’ll be ill for at least four months. But every day I am getting stronger and I thank the stars for the moms surrounding me, who makes me laugh even in the worst of times and cheers me up when I’m struggling.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
In the past, parenting was not a solo affair in these family groups. The entire village was involved in the development of small humans. If you’re not in your mother’s village make yourself known. It’s not easy , but it’s worth the effort. Triangle has some of the most kind souls I’ve ever encountered who are eager to welcome you as part of their community.
Nili Zaharony is a Go Ask Mom contributor. She is mom to three little ones (ages 3, 5, and 1.) that keep her engaged and on her toes.